Fat Chick Files Missing Person Report After Her Hot Box Of Rocks Rommmate Spends The Night Banging Some Dude

From: Office of Public Safety" <psafety@holycross.edu>                                                  1/29/2011 7:10 AM
To: The Commish
Subject: Missing Person


Dear Students;

This is a message from the College of the Holy Cross Emergency Notification Service. A campus emergency has been declared. The President's Office has authorized the distribution of the following alert message:

MISSING FEMALE STUDENT KATHERINE XXXXXXX IF YOU SEE HER OR KNOW WHERE SHE IS PLEASE CALL PUBLIC SAFETY RIGHT AWAY XXX-XXX-XXXX!

Thank you for your immediate cooperation,

Office of Public Safety
College of the Holy Cross


So Saturday morning, after day number two of non-stop drinking, I get a phone call, a text, and an email from HC Pub Safety saying some chick is missing. I was a little pissed for being woken up that early, but what really pissed me off, was less than an hour later (right after I was in a deep sleep again) the RA comes knock on our door to tell us that there is a missing student. What the fuck, like do they honestly expect me to go look for this chick that I don't know, Hell No. I'm going back to sleep, which I did. But here is the real kicker, 45 minutes later the same shit happens (text, call, email, knock the door) the fuckin broad was found. Um no shit, she was missing for only like 4 hours cause she was banging some dude. I hope to god this bitch punched her roommate in the face. How fat and unattractive is this roommate, if her roommate didn't come back on a Friday night? Dumbass.